I'm a Young Soul in This Very Strange World.

Survive: To remain or continue in existence.

My free time is slowly slipping away.
And with it, my sanity.

Math is actually becoming hard for me.
Calculus is brutal.
And using the quotient rule and then the product rule to find a second derivative?
Good night.

My favorite character from Downton Abbey is gone.
How could they do this to us?

My room is messy even when I know how good it feels when it's clean and organized.
But looking at the mess overwhelms me.
So I move my clothes out of the way and pretend it's not messy.

I'm so tired lately and no matter how hard I try to go to bed early,
I always seem find something that keeps me up a little bit later.
Like this blog entry?

But on the bright side, I had a photo-shoot in the snow today.
With Jacob and Nick.
It was freezing, but it soothed my soul to be outside doing something I loved.
They even took a few pictures of me playing in the snow.
It was cold, but definitely worth it.

Life is good, despite the first-world problems I am facing.

At least I have a warm, comfortable home to live in.
A loving family who would do anything for me.
Food, and more than enough of it.
A free education.
My maroon cords that I lost and was desperately missing, then finally found today.
Friends who care for me and put a smile on my face.
A Heavenly Father who loves me and guides me through this crazy, chaotic, confusing life.

♥ Bekah

We Will Never Forget

Hero: A person of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his or her brave deeds and noble qualities.

I've been to New York City twice, and both times I visited the 9/11 memorial.
The first time we ate lunch in a cute little diner right next to the World Trade Center.
On the walls were plaques and pictures of the survivors and helpers.
One sign was an award for brave help during the tragedy.
That was when I realized that the restaurants and shops and apartments next to the World Trade Center were probably major relief centers and shelters to hold the injured people.
Can you even imagine?
I can't.

The second time I went to New York, the actual memorial was built.
There were two square waterfall fountains with names surrounding them.
It is so beautiful and sacred.

So why the sudden post about 9/11 when it's January.
Well,
Today I watched a movie called, "8:46"
It was only fifty-five minutes, but it has changed my perspective on life.
Although I visited the sight of 9/11 twice,
the tragedy that happened on September 11th, 2001 hasn't impacted me as much as it did while watching that movie.
It was beautiful.
It was sad.
It was real.
It was inspiring.
And it left me thinking.
How dare I worry about the trivial little things in my life when such a tragedy happened to my fellow Americans.
How dare I think life is hard if I have homework to do, or I don't get enough sleep, or a boy doesn't like me when thousands of innocent Americans died in the most horrific way.
How dare I think life is hard when thousands of families were left without a mom, or a dad, or a sister, or a brother, or a grandparent, or a loved one.
Although twelve years later, my heart still reaches out to the victims, the helpers, and the survivors of 9/11.
They are my heroes.
And I will never forget.

The rest of the quote says:
May live long yet
Live very little.Montaigne

Each stripe is filled with names. ♥ 

Just outside of the diner.

Can you tell how big it is? There were two of them!

Remembering. ♥ 

So proud to be an American. ♥

God Bless America.

♥ Bekah

Hush, Little Baby

Lullaby: A song used to lull a baby to sleep.

Tonight, while babysitting,  I had the special privilege of putting my five younger siblings to bed.

They range from the age of one to ten.

I read books to the younger boys,

Cradled the baby,

Talked to the ten-year-old,

Giggled with the little sister,

And sang to all of them.

Then after the last one was finally tucked in,

I went back and looked at all the sleeping bodies.

The beautiful, innocent children in their blissful, dreaming state.

I love those little angels.

Those goofballs.

Poopers.

Mess-makers.

Noise-makers.

Questioners.

Trusters.

Gigglers.

Trouble-makers.

Apologizers.

And Melt-your-heart-with-those-big-brown-eyes-and-blonde-hair-ers.

Although having them around can make life stressful, noisy, messy, etc.,

Those little monkeys are totally worth it.

I love them and am so grateful for the fun and joy that they bring into my life.

And now that they are all in bed (and hopefully all asleep),

And the house is fairly picked up for my parents,

I can sit back, relax, and eat Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream in a cow mug.

My two favorite things all packed into one mug of happiness.

Have a lovely night.

♥ Bekah

TIME

Life: The corresponding state, existence, or principle of existence conceived of as belonging to the soul:

Oh what a beautiful day.
It started out with "daddy-daughter breakfast date" at Kneaders with the best dad in the world.
I had the Cinnamon French Toast.
It was amazing.
I would definitely recommend it.
Then I went to school.
That was fun.
Then I went home and watched the second episode of Downton Abbey, season three.
OH MY GOODNESS.
I am addicted.
It is my Soap Opera, Chick Flick, and Jane Austen all mixed into one TV show.
And I love it.
Then I went to Hamlet rehearsal.
Which was good, and we're getting better.
Eliza (I mean Lizzy) and I had coordinating outfits. So naturally, we had to take a picture.

Keeping it classy.

Then I went home and had the opportunity to go to an "Opening Mission Call Marathon."
Four of my friends opened their mission calls tonight.
Where are they going?
Taiwan,
Thailand,
Washington (Spanish Speaking)
and
Alabama. (Italian speaking. Well, that's what Jackson said when he read it. But he was kidding, it's English speaking.)
I am so proud of these amazing, faithful people who are extraordinary examples to me.
The spirit at each one was very strong.
It gave me an even greater desire to go on a mission!
Mark,
Jackson,
Logan,
and Marcie,
You guys are going to be EXCELLENT missionaries and are going to bring the beautiful light of the gospel to so many people.
What a great feeling that is.

Today is also the birthday of my wonderful director, Emmalee Van Orman.
Not only is she directing Hamlet, but she is also PLANNING A WEDDING, and working.
Thank you Emily, for you dedication and commitment to our show and to us.
You are such an amazing and talented director and I am so grateful for you!

And I guess that's about it.
Oh, Josh Sparks finally gave me the prom pictures.
From nine months ago.
But better late than never, right?
And it was such a great date, that I didn't even care that they were late.
In fact, it was even better because we were able to reminisce all about it.

So I guess this is goodnight.
I don't know about you, but I'm going to bed.
Have a lovely evening. (Or night, or morning, or afternoon, or day. Whenever you are reading it, know that I am wishing you a lovely time.)

♥ Bekah

Just Another Manic Monday

Manic: Pertaining to or affected by mania.

The end of the term is always a very stressful event for me.

This term more than others, probably because I did some ridiculous procrastinating.

But I survived.

And I survived with a 4.0.

And I survived with major sleep deprivation. 

But I'm not complaining.

Although it has been a Manic Monday, it has been a good one.

So what happened, you may ask?

Well, I woke up at six after going to bed at midnight (Staying up late to do homework, of course.)

I went to school and did my homework before class started.

I went to my first period class and did even more homework because it was a study period.

Then I went to second period and took the quiz (which is really more like a test than a quiz) that I wasn't very prepared for.

Then I went to third period and luckily we had a sub. Can you guess what I did?

Yes, I did homework.

I did homework during lunch and then I did homework after school.

And then when I put that pen down after my last Chinese Character an hour after school ended, the relief and the stress that lifted off my shoulders was almost tangible.

The term was finally over.

It was beautiful.

And then I headed to work.

And while walking with Darwin (the eighty-nine year old man I take care of) he decided to sit down.  And I couldn't hold him up.  

So I set him on the ground.

And I cried.

But then Darwin's grandson came to the rescue and helped me get Darwin back on his feet and on the couch.

And I dried my tears and realized how vulnerable life is.

And that we are all going to get old someday.

And depend on someone else to take care of us.

On a happier note, I came home to a special treat.

The Williams came over to eat Taco Soup with us.

That made me really happy because I love the Williams and I love Taco Soup.

We talked and played Catch Phrase, The Question Game, and "My Ministers Cat..."

And laughed.

A lot.

Just what I needed to end my overwhelmingly stressful day.

Have you ever seen "You've Got Mail" with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan?

It's like a modern recreation of "Sleepless in Seattle."

Well, I watched it again today, and I was reminded about how much I love it!

I love the fact that she's an owner of a cute, little bookstore, since I'm obsessed with cute, little bookstores.

I love the clothes. 

The hipster/librarian/writer kind of look.

I try for it sometimes, but then I just look like a man.

And I love Tom Hanks.

As always, he is so funny and so heart-warming.

But yes, if you haven't seen it:

Please do.

I promise you won't regret it.

Oh, Chinese was also really fun today.

We took BEAUTIFUL, VERY FLATTERING pictures.

And practiced for the Dragon Dance that we're going to do for the Chinese New Year celebration!

And that's about it for this Manic Monday.

I hope you're Manic Monday wasn't as Manic as mine.

But if it was, just remember that the sun will come out tomorrow.

In fact, if I were you, I would even bet your bottom dollar that's tomorrow.

♥ Bekah

Oh, It Is Love

Procrastination: The act or habit of  putting of or delaying, especially in something requiring immediate attention.

Tonight I have a hot date.
With Calculus.
Because I am such a procrastinator.

It's come to the point where I think about what homework is going to make me think the least.
And then I do that first, saving the hardest for last.

When am I going to learn that this just causes me pain?
And frustration.
And stress.
Lots of stress.

SO HERE I GO.
To do the homework I have been putting off for a week.

Wish me luck.

Next week I'll get the assignments done the day they are assigned.
That would be really nice.

Have a lovely evening, don't be too jealous of my extremely hot date.

True Love. ♥

♥ Bekah

More Than This

Gratitude: The quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful.

It feels like a Thankful Thursday kind of day.
So, what am I thankful for?
I am thankful for:
Cows.
And chickens.
Not only because they give me meat to eat.
But because they give me milk to drink, eggs to eat, and something cute to look at.
I am thankful for
My mom.
And my dad.
And my siblings.
And I guess really just my family in general.
There is nothing like a forever family
who you can talk to
and play with
and laugh with
and have fun with
and learn with
and grow up with
and talk with.
I am grateful for computers.
How on earth did the pioneers write everything on paper?
And I don't understand how anyone had the patience for typewriters.
Or dial up internet.
We are so spoiled.
I am thankful for clothes.
And warm coats.
And blankets.
And finished Annie Dillard reports.
And cellphones.
And books.
And TV shows.
And toothbrushes and toothpaste.
Can you even imagine life without them?
I am thankful for nail polish.
And seminary.
And cars.
And gas. (For cars, of course. Not the other kind.  Because that would be embarrassing.)
I am thankful for friends.
And people I don't even know who say hi to me in the hallway
or compliment me in some way
or simply smile at me.
I am thankful for cameras
and art
and artists.
I am thankful for the opportunity for such an easy, accessible, above-average education.
I am thankful for teachers who love what they do.
Who find joy in teaching.
Because when they find joy in teaching, I find joy in learning.
I am thankful for a free country
And gum.
And The Book of Mormon.
And missionaries.
And fry-sauce.
And lotion.
And chapstick.
And blankets.
And heaters.
And a 27 on the ACT. (Which I JUST BARELY checked and saw my score.)
And food, for goodness sake.
And theater.
And Hamlet.
And Ingrid Michaelson.
And balloons.
And flowers.
And days where I finish my homework before ten o'clock.  (Like today. *Smiley Face.*)
And I am thankful for the amazing Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints that I faithfully, and happily belong to.

Happy Thankful Thursday, everyone.

♥ Bekah.

The Scientist

Knowledge: The fact or state of knowing; the perception of fact or truth.

Tonight while I was at work
I happened upon a movie called, Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story.
So I watched it.
Do you know who Ben Carson is?
I didn't either.
He is a neurosurgeon who came from a very humble background.
His mom who divorced her husband when Ben was eight, couldn't read and was forced to take odd jobs like cleaning and babysitting.
She didn't want her two boys to be like her.
Ben was receiving bad grades in school and he genuinely believed he was stupid.
His mom knew otherwise and told him that all he needed to know was in his head, he just needed to find it.
So one day she turned the TV off that the kids were watching and told them that they could only watch two shows per week,
They couldn't play with friends until their homework was done,
And they had to read two books and write reports on them every week.
Although the boys complained, it ended up blessing their lives immensely.
Ben ended up graduating from high school as third in his class, pass Yale's program, and make it into the internship program at John Hopkins Hospital.  (Only 2 were chosen out of 125 candidates.)
He later became head of the Neurosurgeons in John Hopkins hospital, completing many rare and dangerous operations. 
But why am I taking the time to write this?
Maybe because I am procrastinating my homework.
But mostly because I was inspired.
I was uplifted and enlightened by this modern genius.
He became one of the best Neurosurgeons in the world.
One part of the movie that really stood out to me was his trust in God.
God was a huge part of Ben's life.
Before each operation, he would pray.
He would say to God, "Thy will be done."
I was inspired to seek out more knowledge in my life.
I was inspired to appreciate the education and opportunities that have been handed to me in my life.
I was inspired to trust in God: to know that He really does have a plan for me, and I have to trust in Him and do His will.
Thank you Ben Carson, for changing the world, one operation at a time.

♥ Bekah

Sister, Sister

Celebration: An act of celebrating.


Today is my darling little sister's birthday.
I am eighteen and she just turned nine.
If you do the math, you'll find that she is exactly half my age.
Weird.
She is the age I was when she was born.
I was so excited to finally get a little sister.
I couldn't wait for us to play dolls together.
I couldn't wait to teach her everything I know.
And I couldn't wait for us to be best friends.
Even though she is blonde and I am brunette,
we have the bond that only a sister can have.
I love her with all my heart
and I am so grateful that God blessed me with such a sweet little sister.
Happy Birthday Sammi, my love for you is bigger than the universe.
Because the universe never ends.

Sisters ♥

♥ Bekah

The New Year

Reminisce: To recall past experiences, events, etc.

Another New Year?
2013?
Are you sure?
I remember being in first grade when the year changed from 2001 to 2002 and I knew it was going to be a difficult transition.
For the next couple of weeks I wrote 2001 on all my papers, then remembering it was 2002, I would frantically erase the one and triumphantly replace it with a two.
And look at me now.
Eighteen, entering the year 2013.
The year I graduate.
And go to college.
And "grow up."-if there is such a thing.
Can you believe it?
I definitely can't.
But before we move onto 2013, why not reminisce about 2012 a little bit longer.
How about a recap of each month?
Sounds good to me.

January

Started the year off right with the New Years party at Derek Wilcox's house.  We played Zumi Zumi (This is the game my brilliant cross country coach, Coach Rowe, taught us in California.  You put a gross concoction together of random food and then play a game similar to concentration, but with names.  Then whoever loses, has to drink a cup of the unknown substance.  Sounds fun, right? Refer to the picture below.) I also got a kiss from Josh Black at midnight. (Calm yourself. It was on the cheek, I promise.) It was also a month of playing with my new little sister, Bethany.  Intense AP Us History study and worry.  (I think at one point, I  went to Mr. Andersen in tears and told him I didn't think I could continue with the class AND take/pass the test at the end of the year.  He told me he KNEW I could do it.  I just needed to believe in myself. So, I started to..) I also went to the 100 years celebrating seminary and sat in the seventh or eight row which was really cool. 

I admit, it does look really, really gross.  In fact, looking at it is starting to make me feel nauseous. But, I mean, I won.  (So I didn't ever have to drink it.)

February

Another crazy month.  I had piano festival, and sweethearts, and my play all around the same time.  Festival went really well. (I think I received a superior star.  Which isn't the best, but it's still pretty good. Especially considering how busy I was.) Sweethearts with Chris Coca was AMAZING.  And the play, well, I don't think I can sum it up right now.  For now, we'll just say it was a life-changing experience. I'll have to dedicate a whole entry just to Handing Down the Names.  It deserves that. 

The beautiful, beautiful, beautiful stage for Handing Down the Names

Our VERY cute feet at sweethearts.

March

I got this crazy notion in my head to run for Student Body President. And March was election month. Now why, you may ask, would anyone get it into their head to run for Student Body President? Honestly, I don't really know.  But I just felt that I needed to run.  So I did.  It was extremely stressful, but also extremely rewarding. I learned so much about myself, everyone else who ran, and the school.  And I loved it.  And guess what? I didn't win.  And guess what else? I'm happy I didn't win.  But guess what else? I'm happy I ran.  Because I know if I hadn't of ran, I would have regretted it. And now I'm photographer for Student Council, which is perfect. I also went to the festival of colors with two of my favorite girls, Alaina and Sarah.  It was crazy, crowded, noisy, chalky, and so much fun.

I thought it was pretty cute.

Hari Krishna

April

One word: New York City.

With the drama, dance, and photo students.  Jealous much? Yeah, you should be. It was amazing.  We toured sites, walked, shopped until our feet hurt, walked, took TONS of pictures, walked, went to a Major League Baseball game, (is it bad that I can't remember what team?), walked, and saw four Broadway plays. Can I please just go back? 

May

The month I was dreading since the moment I signed up for my Junior Year classes; the month of the AP United States History test.  I was SO NERVOUS for it, and I studied harder than I ever had before.  And then the test came, I took it, and it was hard.  But not as bad as I expected.  Hmmm. I also had prom.  With Josh Sparks.  Could I have asked for a better date? Absolutely not.  He is hilarious, handsome, and such a gentleman.  Oh, school also ended. Which was a huge relief.  And the Seniors of 2012 graduated.  Saying goodbye to them made me realize that we're all growing up.  And soon (THIS YEAR) I will also be graduating. And starting a new chapter of my life.

Best date. Ever.

June

SUMMER. FINALLY.  We went on a Family Vacation to St. George before Mike left for China.  We had trek at the end of the month which was great. It was seriously one of the most spiritual experiences of my life.

You think it's a normal, cute picture of me. And then you notice Mike.

He's very proud of this picture.

This one too.

Just like real pioneers.

July

I cut off 12 inches of my hair and donated it.  That was a HUGE change.  But it makes me happy to know that one girl is able to have hair because of me.  And I like my new look! I also Leadership camp at Dixie then Girls Camp.  Probably my last one.  So it was bittersweet, and as always, very spiritual and very fun.

Oh, I also found out my AP history score. I GOT A FIVE.

Just me. Holding my twelve inches of hair.

All of us crowded into one hotel room in 100 degree weather.  
Can you feel the love? I sure can.

August

Went to Efy. It was so amazing.  I went by myself to BYU-Idaho and was surprised by how much I LOVED IT.  I had the best roommate (Shay Sookhoo-Patrelli), the best girls in my apartment, the best group (The Willing), the most amazing Session Director and wife, and the coolest counselors. Again, I'll probably need to dedicate a whole entry for EFY, but can I just say that I know I was there at the right time in the right place.  Oh yeah, I also started my SENIOR year of high school.  NO BIG DEAL. And of course, I enjoyed my last few days of freedom.

Are you willing? WE ARE WILLING.

Welcome to high school, erryone. A little crowded, eh?

September

Football games, homework, and drama 4 auditions. Since we're doing two plays in Drama 4 (our advanced drama class), we had to have auditions really early because we took Hamlet to Shakespeare.  Long story short, it was really stressful, and I got cast as Ophelia in Hamlet. (!!!!!!!) Which was VERY exciting. 

Football fun!!!

October

What a good month.

The Shakespeare Festival was definitely an experience to never forget.  The judges loved Hamlet, and one even nominated us to showcase.  We got fourth out of probably fifteen or sixteen schools in our region. Then Rachel Clark and I competed in scenes with Romeo and Juliet.  We set it in WWII time, with Juliet as the Jew and Romeo as the Nazi. Rach was my nurse.  One judge LOVED us and wanted to keep talking to us about it after we competed.  The other two? Eh, not so much.  But we did our best, and I feel really good about it.  And it was just an amazing experience. The announcement that girls can serve missions at the age of 19 also happened while we were at Shakespeare! I was shocked. And overjoyed. This means that I could possibly be serving a mission at the end of this year or the beginning of next! Crazy, right? I was also in charge of the October Spirits Week for our school. It was exhausting, stressful, and rewarding. 

The year ended with our annual family Halloween party.  And it did not disappoint. 

Cutest family award.

Ophelia and Laertes. //Drowned.//

November

 I mean, I turned eighteen.  That's a pretty big deal. 

And I definitely went to the store on my birthday to buy myself eighteen balloons.

December

I enjoyed the Holidays.  I went to temple square. I went sledding. The usual. I learned to appreciate the family and the amazing friends in my life.  I played the piano for our church Christmas choir performance.  Since Mike and I are both in it, Sammi and Nick decided to join too.  It was a cool experience singing with three of my siblings. I also finished the Book of Mormon again and gained an even greater testimony of the amazing church I belong to, and  Joseph Smith who worked so hard to translate the truly inspired doctrine, and Jesus Christ whom I worship.  I enjoyed every minute of celebrating His birth this year.

So grateful for this BEAUTIFUL refuge from the world.

//Photo Cred. goes to Miss Tyler Tucker.//

It has been a good year.

Definitely a hard one.

But good, nonetheless.

I've learned.

I've laughed.

I've trusted.

I've changed diapers.

I've played the piano.

I've served.

I've been to New York City.

I've learned the ukulele.

I've cried.

I've made new friends.

And let go of some old ones.

I've blogged.

I've performed.

I've been selfish.

I've tried to be selfless.

I've grown.

I've changed.

I've gone to the temple.

I've taken pictures.

I've survived. 

I've made it through each day.

I've seen things in a new perspective.

I've finished the Book of Mormon.

I've loved.

I've hoped.

I've smiled.

I'm excited to see what this new year has to offer.

Because, really, anything is possible.

Happy new years, folks.

♥ Bekah